My Hockey Alpha Chapter 301- The Perfect Dress Nina The sun had already slipped below the skyline by the time I entered “Belle Ame Bridal,” with Jessica and Lori by my side.
We were on a mission-a mission that I had been avoiding like the plague.
Finding the perfect wedding dress, something that should have been exciting, was a stark reminder of my mother’s absence. She was somewhere overseas, unreachable, and it felt like a part of my heart was missing.
No matter how often I called her, no matter how many voicemails I left and letters I wrote, I didn’t get a response. It was both worrisome and depressing at the same time, and as my wedding with Enzo ticked closer, I just felt worse and worse by the day.
I kept telling myself that she was safe; she was likely busy and forgot to change her number over to the international line. Maybe she and Taylor bought a house or rented an apartment and didn’t update their address yet.
But there was another little voice inside of me… Something telling me that because she wasn’t my “real” mom, that she had decided to abandon me.
I knew my biological father now. I never got the chance to meet my biological mother, but I knew who she was now.
But it didn’t make my love for my adoptive mother any less potent; if anything, after all this time that I had spent learning about both my past and her past, I felt more love for her than ever. Our history together wasn’t the best, but I was prepared to spend the rest of my life making up for that with her. I wanted a real relationship with my adoptive mother, one in which we could actually get to know each other for once instead of hating each other.
I couldn’t do that, however, if she wouldn’t talk to me.
“Nina, you can’t avoid it any longer,” Jessica reminded me gently as we walked into the little bridal store, which had only recently reopened its doors after the Crescent debacle. “Enzo and you are getting married in less than a month.” I gave her a nod, acknowledging her words but not my readiness. “I know, Jessica. I just… I wish my mom were here. That’s all.” Before anyone could offer another comforting statement, Lori interrupted. She was always more stoic than the rest of us, but right now, I think that I actually kind of needed that sort of attitude.
“Alright, enough talking, more shopping,” she said, grabbing me by the shoulders and pushing me over toward the racks of dresses. “Nina, you’re going to look stunning no matter what you wear.” In the bridal shop, the walls were practically lined with tulle and silk. The dresses sparkled under the soft, flattering lighting.
I let Jessica and Lori pick out gowns for me, trying on one after the other without feeling any real connection. A stunning mermaid dress made me feel like a wrapped up candy, an A-line with a lace overlay made me itch, and a ball gown made me feel like I was playing fairy princess dress-up rather than preparing for my own wedding.
“I don’t… I don’t think this is working, guys,” I finally admitted, feeling my throat tighten with unshed tears. I was standing on the little platform in front of the mirror, wearing a silky blush pink dress that looked more like a nightgown than anything.
Surrounding me was a pile of rejected dresses, and my heart was only growing heavier with each unsuccessful try.
Lori rushed over, her arm sliding around my shoulders. “Hey, it’s okay, Nina. Your mom would be proud, you know. And she’d want you to be happy.” “Both of your moms,” Jessica corrected, lifting a finger. “They’d both be proud.” I nodded, but it didn’t lessen the ache. One mother was dead before I ever even got to know her, and it felt as though the other mother had just decided to abandon me.
“I think I should come back tomorrow,” I said, picking my skirt up and stepping down off of the platform. “I’m getting too tired to think straight.” Jessica and Lori shot each other a quizzical look, but neither of them said anything as I walked back over to the dressing room.
Just then, however, a shimmer from the corner of the shop caught my eye. I paused for a moment just as I was about to step into the dressing room and peered over at it.
Intrigued, I moved towards it, pulling out a gown that was unlike the rest.
Its design was simple yet elegant; an off-shoulder cut, with a fitted bodice that flared out slightly from the hips, trailing into a beautiful sweep train. There were intricate lacy floral patterns sewn into the fabric, lending an ethereal touch.
“This one…” I murmured, unable to take my eyes off it.
The shop owner, a woman named Marta, who’d been assisting us all afternoon without batting an eye at my indecisiveness, turned to look.
“Ah, that dress,” she said, a hint of surprise in her voice. “That’s been sitting here for years. It’s a one- off design from a local designer that never gained popularity. No one’s ever chosen it.” As I held the dress against myself, it was like seeing my reflection come to life. The way it draped over my frame seemed almost custom-made. Without another word, I hurried back to the fitting room, the whispers of Jessica and Lori fading behind me.
Slipping into the dress was like slipping into a different version of myself. The woman looking back at me from the mirror was radiant and confident.
The dress hugged my body perfectly, accentuating every curve, yet still managing to feel incredibly comfortable. I gave a small twirl, the train swishing softly behind me. For the first time in a long while, I felt normal, like a girl simply excited about her wedding.
I stepped out of the fitting room and watched as Jessica and Lori both gasped. Their eyes watered, and I found my own vision blurring. I wiped at the tears with a shaky laugh.
“What do you think?” I asked, my voice thick with emotion.
“You look…you look breathtaking, Nina,” Jessica managed to get out, her smile trembling. The reflections in the mirror agreed with her, and I found myself unable to stop the broad grin that spread across my face. This was it. This was my dress. Everything from the delicate lace overlay, the full skirt, the long sleeves and the sweetheart neckline made me feel like an actual, real princess; not a fairy tale princess.
I felt mature and beautiful, and for just a moment, I felt as though I could look at myself and see more than the ghosts of the past several months weighing down on me. Everything about the Crescents, all of the fighting, the pain, the heartbreak… None of it mattered to me during those brief moments.
I turned to Marta, tears still clinging to my lashes. “I’ll take this one,” I said, the certainty in my voice making the final decision all the more real.
The dress was not only a step closer to The Perfect Dress my wedding with Enzo, but it was also a balm to the ache of my mother’s absence. It was a silent assurance that even though she wasn’t physically present, a part of her was here with me, guiding me through this milestone. And in that moment, that was enough.